


Today I'll be Happy

by thedrunkenwerewolf



Series: Heirverse: Phase 4 (Heir/Decimated) [9]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Fluff, Feelings, Flower Language, Hopeful Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, References to Depression, a happy story, come on guys its me, mild ptsd references, story cross references, there's always feelings in my works, you should know me by now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 20:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19775932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedrunkenwerewolf/pseuds/thedrunkenwerewolf
Summary: After the war, Aizen and Gin settle into a new life together. Works best with Heirverse series context but can be read on its own. Written to celebrate this series 10th year of existence.





	Today I'll be Happy

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: Last one of p4. Massive thanks to the pack for being involved in this project, byakuyakuchiki for crossposting to ao3 and saving me a LOT of time. Please go review their works; they're all awesome and I am very proud of them. Thankyou so much for being a a part of this verse either by reading, reviewing, co-authoring, crossposting, etc. It's been a journey. But it's been a wonderful decade. Thanks for making it amazing. You're all gems and I do not deserve you. Much love, stay awesome. I hope you enjoy this final instalment (of the phase not the series before people panic) 
> 
> Timeline: Last of Heir/phase 4 bleeding well into phase 5. Aka: What I want the end of Heir to look like.
> 
> Notes: waffly fluff with mentions of nightmares, depression and ptsd. A cross reference I think a lot of people will enjoy if they've read the beginning. Inspired by a review and talk with Sal when I posted 'Home'. The semicolon near the end exists for purely personal reasons.
> 
> Written to: Dream and Hello Again by Circus-P.

_"With a busted up database,_

_I'm losing the chase._

_But I'll say 'hello' again, 'hello'  
And turn and face the sun."_

_Circus-p [Hello, Again]_

_._

_When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person that walked in. That's what the storm is all about._

_\- Haruki Murakami_

**Today I'll Be Happy**

The alarm clock beeped at its usual time of 6am, and grumbling Sousuke rolled over and sleepily rolled over to turn it off the noise. Once quiet reigned again, he sighed and rolled over, putting an arm around his sleeping Gin's waist and snuggling into his lover's back. Today was saturday. Why get up and out of bed if he didn't have to? So he closed his eyes again and let his body sink back into the blissfulness of sleep.

. . .

He woke up naturally a couple of hours later. His lifelong habit of rising early refusing to lay down and die. He blinked his eyes open only to find Gin was already awake and watching him.

"Hey," he smiled softly.

"Hey," Gin answered, smiling serenely back at him. "No nightmares?"

Sousuke had to think for a moment. The nightmares had been a regular occurrence for most of his life – even after leaving Las Noches – even though the war was over and they were both safe now. Living new lives in a new place, starting afresh. But he quickly realised this had been one of the first nights he'd slept all the way through.

"No nightmares," he answered, smiling. Of course, he knew the nightmares would never vanish completely – how could they after he'd seen so much darkness? But last night was a good step forward.

Gin's smile grew tender as he leaned close to give him a kiss. "Hm. Good." he said, kissing his partner softly.

"Its a start." Sousuke said.

Gin smiled in agreement. "Yes, it is," he said, and kissed him again.

Their son wouldn't be awake for a little while yet. There was still time for another quick round. Gin must have been reading his mind because his kiss deepened and he rolled them over so he was laying on top of him. Grinding their hips together and slipping a hand between his legs as Sousuke spread his thighs and let Gin make love to him.

. . .

later that morning Sousuke was making three of them breakfast, already washed and dressed. Frying them all up some bacon and eggs and humming happily. Feeling completely at ease for the first time in... a long time. _Yes,_ he thought. _Today I'll be happy._

He smiled as he laid the fried eggs onto the plates with the spatula. How many times had he told himself that over the last century? How many times had he repeated that mantra to himself in the hope that it would be true? Because there was simply too much darkness inside him warring with the light in his life – and usually winning over it.

Many. Far too many. But some days it was the only way to get through. He had a good feeling about today, though. A very good feeling. Of course there were still bad days – sometimes very bad days, when even getting out of bed was difficult. And he was absolutely terrified his happiness would be snatched away. There were still the nightmares. The very last echoes of self doubt and the hellish voice in his skull as he adjusted to life without it. As it faded away. There would always be the mental scars he carried around. But the good days outnumbered the bad ones. And there were his living, breathing reminders that living on was worth it. That surviving the last century of his life was worth it.

He dished up the rest of his family's breakfast and carried the plates to the table. _They should be down soon,_ he thought.

Right on cue he heard the thudding of little paws coming down the stairs, followed by excited yipping, and the voice of his lovely gin ushering their boy down for breakfast.

"But I was almost done with level five-" their son pleaded.

"I dun' care." Gin said sternly. "s'time fer breakfast."

Aizen smiled to himself and shook his head. _Kids and their games..._

Kyouka Suigetsu snorted, giggling. _Well they say the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree,_ she teased.

_Shut up,_ he retorted. Though there was no real heat behind it

Sousuke watched his family come in and sit at the table in their usual places, and set a plate of toast on the table. Immediately their boy reached for it.

"Ah, did you wash your hands?" Aizen asked.

Blue eyes met his fathers and he froze mid reach. "no..."

"Go wash them before touching the food." Sousuke told him.

"But you-"

"No but's Erik, go wash your hands."

Erik withdrew his hand and got up. Sighing in annoyance and trudging over to the sink to wash his hands.

"And use soap."

"Yes dad," came the snarky reply.

Sousuke just shared an exasperated look with Gin as if to say 'kids today...'

Gin just snickered quietly. "Hey he's your son too," he said, grinning wide. "Dun look a me."

Sousuke just shook his head and cut up his saussage. "So he doesn't get his mischievous streak from _you?"_

"Nah, he's just stubborn. Like _you."_ gin sasses back. "Swear stubborness runs in the blood."

Sousuke wasn't impressed. "Yes, and who else at this table is a stubborn mule? Hmm?" he smiled.

Kyouka just sighed and told him Gin had a valid point. He chose not to even dignify that with a comment.

It was true though. The amalgamation of their DNA through Szayel's work could have been Aizen Sousuke in miniature. Except for his eyes. Gin insisted he have blue eyes when they designed him. Sousuke had fought him on it, insisted that their boy have Gin's lovely red eyes – but Gin came back with the argument that he might get made fun of, so he'd conceded. Gin knew what it was like to be made fun of for being different.

But Sousuke made sure there were bits of his Gin in there, too. His hands. His build. The shape of his face. His soft heartedness. All his best qualities.

When Erik trudged back over and sat down again, he took a bit of toast and took a large bite out of it. _Just like Gin with his food..._ Sousuke shook his head at the pair of them.

"What?" Erik and gin asked, mouths crammed full of toast and bacon respectively.

Sousuke just smiled. Yes. This was what he'd wished for. A normal, safe, boring life. A happy life. The life he'd wanted for as long as he could remember. "Nothing," he answered quietly. "Just finish your food."

Gin opened his mouth to speak, but just then the kettle finished boiling and Sousuke asked, "Tea?"

"Please," Gin answered.

. . .

Two cups of tea later, the breakfast dishes had been cleaned and put away, and the three of them found themselves in the garden. Enjoying the sunny spring weather. Gin was showing Erik how to plant bulbs at just the right depth to facilitate growth while giving some protection from the elements. And teaching him how to tend the garden. Leaving Sousuke to his crossword as he relaxed on the grass. He was glad some of their shared knowledge of plants was being passed onto their son. Happy too, that Erik seemed to have a keen interest in learning.

He smiled at the pair of them, trowels in hand, dirt covered fingers. They'd make a gardener out of Erik yet. Maybe even teach him the language of flowers... he'd talk to Gin about that tonight.

He sighed, perfectly content as he surveyed their garden. Of course it wasn't the garden he'd had back in the soul society. No-one, not even he, could recreate that. That garden had been the sum of decades of work. It was the same with the house. He'd brought this house a long time ago, as a safehouse for Gin if things went belly up. A place in the quiet countryside though not too far from town. He'd opened up a human world bank account too and stashed a load of his money in it – enough to start a new life with. Just in case. Of course the place had none of all their old things – those were still in their old home gathering dust, and what little they did bring was all that Gin could carry from Las Noches. He knew some of their stuff was still there, though he couldn't bring himself to go back.

So they started over with practically nothing.

But they'd done their best to make this house a home. And they'd done it together.

And when the spring finally came after that awful winter, the first thing they planted in their new garden were daffodils. New beginnings, in the language of flowers. Their language.

He smiled fondly at the memory. Erik was only a baby then. And the horrors of the war were still fresh. But they had hope, and love, and each other. And wasn't that all that mattered, really?

Of course, things would never be the same as before. Because they'd been through so much, and were changed men because of it. Because they were different people now, with shifted priorities. Because time was a river that waited for no man. And everything was transient – even who they were. So no, there was no going back. He'd known that ever since they'd stepped onto the bone white sands of Huecco Mundo. The place of horrible nightmares.

What was that quote? _When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person that walked in. That's what the storm is all about._

But things were better now. So much better than he ever could have hoped for. Although there were still some nights he laid awake, afraid this life was all just a dream he'd conjured up locked away with the bodies in central 46. Still nights when gin woke up terrified he'd forget again, or still seeing his lover's corpse butchered on the wall. Still nights when Gin was crying and so, so afraid of losing him again.

Still nights when Sousuke woke up screaming for gin to run, because he thought the voice was back. Still nights when fear and terror reigned over them.

But they comforted each other. And held each other through those awful hellish nights. And sometimes even the awful mornings when it felt like the sun would never shine again, particularly after Gin cried in his arms after one particularly terrifying nightmare. His Moon had clung onto him for grim death that morning.

Gin hadn't said a word about what the bad dream was, but he could guess.

_We've survived all of our worst days so far,_ he'd told Gin afterwards _. We can learn to survive a few more._

Gin had nodded, squeezing his hand. _Then we'll survive em together._

_Always?_ He'd smiled. It was something of an inside joke now, like the unintended marriage proposal with the saffron because of Gin misinterpreting the flower meaning.

Gin smiled back, ever his mirror. _Always._

_. . ._

In the days, they learned to keep busy. Easy to do when you have a child to look after and money to earn. Sousuke went back to teaching and got himself a job at a local university, giving lectures on classic literature. Gin stayed at home to look after Erik. And, of all things, to write. He wrote stories – mostly to keep Erik entertained. But he'd found it quite cathartic to write about their lives.

Sousuke only encouraged this. Gin always did have a knack for stories, even though Gin insisted Aizen was the storyteller. But Sousuke reasoned that well, if Gin could keep up with his game in the beginning of their relationship then he could plot out anything. No matter how complicated.

And when Gin's first book came out – under a pen name, naturally – he'd been very moved when he opened the front cover and found it dedicated to him.

Of course, his Gin wasn't famous yet. But Sousuke was confident he would be.

Time had passed like that for a while. Sousuke teaching. Gin writing. Both raising Erik. And slowly, with many lost days, they came back to life again.

Of course Gin missed his old life. Missed Rangiku... and through he knew they could never go back to the soul society, Sousuke promised him that one day they'd see her again. Tell her the whole story. Et her see her godson. But when the time was right. They were still recovering from the atrocities of the war, after all. But one day, maybe soon, they'd see her again.

The sound of happy little fox yips drew him out of his thoughts and back into the present. Sousuke looked up from his crossword to see cherry running around with a trowel in her mouth, and Tsuku 'helping' to dig holes for the bulbs. He smiled and shook his head. Some things never change.

Gin was just telling off Tsuku for digging up the bulbs they'd just planted. The fox looking at them feigning innocence and confusion. Cocking his head as if asking _'Who? Me? I didn't dig up the bulbs.'_

Meanwhile Erik chased Cherry, trying to reclaim his stolen trowel. Sousuke shook his head at their antics. _At least the tulips escaped_ , he thought.

_Huh. That gives me an idea..._

He set down his crossword book and got up, took the pruning shears from the patio table, and walked over to the flower bed in search of the perfect bloom. Once he found it, he cut it, studied it for a moment to ascertain its perfection, and smiled.

_Do you think he'll remember?_

_Do you always ask such stupid questions?_ Kyouka answered.

He had to smile at that. _Old habits,_ he replied. _They die slowly._

He lifted his gaze to Gin, who had managed to reclaim the trowel off Cherry and was currently digging a hole for the rest of the bulbs. _But then, some things won't change._

He approached Gin slowly – he didn't want to make the man jump out of his skin – and stood behind him. Sousuke gently placed a hand on Gin's shoulder, so the younger man looked up at him as he leant over, offering the flower to him.

"For you," Sousuke said. Smiling as Gin flushed pink and took the red tulip. Their fingers lightly brushing as the flower changed hands. And with the look on Gin's face it may as well have been eighty – ninety – years ago. In another garden...

"Oh, thankyou!" Gin said softly, making the image flicker back to the present day again. "Oh, um," Gin gasped, quickly looking around him for a reply. He reached out and grabbed the nearest ones; heliotrope and daffodils. Together in the flower language: 'I devote myself to starting a new life with you.'

Sousuke laughed and smiled brightly at his Gin as he took his reply. Because that answer was perfect. And so much better than the last one. _Not that there would be any lavender to answer with, we agreed that plant won't be coming anywhere near our garden._

He embraced Gin with his free arm and kissed him on the cheek. _Yes, this is perfect. You're perfect._ "Thankyou, they're beautiful. Just like you."

Gin blushed a deeper shade of pink and Sousuke chuckled. But at least he wasn't accused of shameless flattery this time. Maybe Gin had finally accepted he was telling the truth.

_Yes,_ Sousuke thought again. _Today's a good day; Today I'll be happy._

He let his arm pull Gin close as they sat on the grass, watching their son playing about with Cherry and Tsuku. With Gin leaning against him, filling his whole body with warmth. Melting the last of the ice inside him.

_Because I'm with you and-_

_well, the rest doesn't matter._

**Author's Note:**

> "Thankyou for reading!
> 
> "To the readers: if you liked a chapter/story please PLEASE leave a comment on that particular story. I would like my Co's to get feedback. Please check out their individual works too and do stick around for more Krakenverse updates. The series is far from over :)
> 
> To everyone who worked with me on this: I am feeling all the things. Thankyou so much for being a part of this. Ya'll were joys to proxy. I am so proud of you. I'm going to go now before I get [even more] emotional. Good night.


End file.
